Ilana Meyers (ilanameyers) wrote in plot_bunny_inc,
Ilana Meyers

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The dead man blinked twice

I've got a plot bunny. Nothing to do with the challenges, but as this is the plot bunny grazing ground, I thought this was probably the place to air it. Or let it feed, or take it for a walk, or whatever you do with bunnies. Probably breed them, actually ;)

Ahem. Anyway, I'll introduce my bunny. Fluffy, come meet the other bunnies, and play nice!

Just kidding. Actually, my plot bunny is something of a doombunny. We've just been given the deadline for entries for the school short story competition, and I want to try my hand at horror.

So here's a bit of my bunny:

"The desert sun beat down on the dead man’s face as he lay, grinning, in the sand. The rotting flesh of his lips was stretched, leathery, over his yellow teeth, and the blackening shreds of his tattered throat rustled in the sultry wind. The stubble and skin of one cheek were scraped ragged over the white, splintered bone, and his eyes were milky with rot and putrefaction.

Grinning up at the sun, the dead man blinked twice."

Please just tell me if this opening is even mildly scary. Because if it isn't, the rest of it won't amount to much at all!

I'll post the rest when I've written some more, but I need reassurance that it's worth continuing!

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